Dear friends and family who are eagerly awaiting an invitation to visit a newborn baby, The new parents are tired. So tired. They’re happy, overwhelmed, infatuated, scared, and proud, but mostly, they’re tired.
They don’t have the energy for an awkward conversation, and definitely can’t stomach confrontation, so here’s a list of the things they don’t want you to do when visiting their newborn baby (but would probably never tell you for fear of offending you.
Things To Avoid #1: Smoking
Some hospitals now ask smoking guests to wear hospital gowns over their clothes when holding a baby. Third hand smoke (the stuff that lingers on your clothes, hair and breath) is bad for health, and experts now warn parents to take action against third hand smoke. When visiting a newborn, make sure you are wearing fresh, clean clothes. If you smoke in your home, even your clean clothes may smell of cigarettes so ask if you can borrow a jumper before holding the baby. Do not smoke before or during the visit, even outside.
Things To Avoid #2: Drinking Hot Drinks While Holding The Baby
There is nothing more terrifying than the sight of a friend sipping a boiling hot tea over the head of your newborn baby. By all means have a cup of tea, just don’t drink it whilst holding the brand new baby.
Things To Avoid #3: Assuming You Can Take Your Kids
Being a new mother is a bit like taking a break from reality. Her world has just been turned upside down in the most wonderful way possible, and every moment is consumed with feeds, nappies and overwhelming love. These brand new families exist in the warm, cosy bubble of their houses. They talk in soft voices, sing lullabies and walk around sleepily cradling their newborn babies. Nothing bursts that blissful bubble quite like the whirlwind of someone else’s children. No matter how lovely, well-behaved and gentle your children are, it is best not to assume they are invited. While some new parents will want them to visit, others may prefer just to have adult guests for the first couple of weeks. Offer to leave your kids at home for your first visit, and see what the new parents say.
Things To Avoid #4: Being Late
It’s not that the new parents think that the world is rotating around them, and they’re really not being self-important or taking themselves too seriously – they’re just really tired, and they have so many people wanting to visit and steal cuddles with the new baby. They’ve had to make time for everyone to visit, and try to make sure they have the energy to stay awake during the visits, so please turn up on time. And if you are running late, let them know as soon as possible.
Things To Avoid #5: Unwashed Hands
Your hands may look clean, but they’re probably harbouring germs from the outside world. Think of all the things you’ve touched since you last washed your hands, and then imagine passing all of those potential germs over to the new baby who hasn’t yet developed a strong immune system. Please make sure you wash your hands before holding the new baby. Even with washed hands, kissing a baby on the lips or putting your fingers in the baby’s mouth is one of a new parent’s biggest pet peeves. Some families are scrambling out to get vaccinated to help protect the baby from germs and disease. However, bear in mind that recently vaccinated people could be unknowingly spreading the disease they have been vaccinated against. For example, read our article on Whooping Cough facts and tips.
Things To Avoid #6: Waking The Baby
This seems like a no-brainer, but sadly some guests do take it upon themselves to disturb sleeping babies. You may be desperate to see those beautiful big eyes, but rest assured they are probably murky coloured at the moment, and you’ll be able to get a better idea about eye colour on your next visit. Newborn babies sleep for as many as 18 hours a day, and this sleep is really important for development. Not only that, the parents may have recently spent an hour or two comforting their crying baby to finally get baby to sleep. Remember, the person who goes out of their way to wake the baby is rarely invited back in a hurry.
Things To Avoid #7: Coming Over While Sick
There’s not much you can do to avoid getting sick, but you can cancel your appointment to meet the new baby. The new parents are likely to be feeling worn out, and their immune systems may be compromised as a result.
On top of this, there is a newborn baby who hasn’t yet been exposed to the plethora of germs and viruses out there. So do the right thing, and stay away until you are feeling better and no longer contagious, so the parents don’t have to worry about caring for a sick new baby.
Things To Avoid #8: Staring During Breastfeeds or Doing the Breastfeeding Face
Breastfeeding is tricky, especially at first. The new mother and new baby are both learning new skills, and are very likely to encounter some difficulties along the way. Not all, of course, but some new mothers feel added pressure when other people are present during feeds. Getting a newborn baby to latch on can be difficult, and the new mother may feel exposed with watching eyes in the room. The key to being a good guest is to carry on as if nothing is happening. Keep chatting (and not about whether breastfeeding hurts), keep up eye contact and please, please don’t do the breastfeeding face. This is a grimace that uncomfortable friends and family members pull as your baby latches on. The new mum understands your facial expressions, and you’re making her feel uncomfortable. Breastfeeding is natural, so be natural with it.
Things To Avoid #9: Giving Unsolicited Advice
If you are specifically asked for advice, great, give it. If not, please don’t join the hundreds of voices already telling these brand new parents how to do things ‘the right way’. Just listen, offer support, and know that if they want your advice, they’ll ask for it.
Source bellybelly.com.au
All content on this Web site, including medical opinion and any other health-related information, is for informational purposes only and should not be considered to be a specific diagnosis or treatment plan for any individual situation. Use of this site and the information contained herein does not create a doctor-patient relationship. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.
