If you are expecting baby soon, and you have all sorts of thoughts and fears going round in your head, don’t worry, it is totally normal. Naturally you are worried. You have no idea what to expect, and all you know is the baby is coming soon.
“Relax” – everyone will tell you this, but how to relax??? You are not alone, every father have fears due to pregnancy and after that. Read the most common fears of new dads and find yours.
Fear of the pregnancy
Men just don’t understand the process of pregnancy and birth. They also don’t understand all of the discomforts and hormonal changes and can’t understand how pregnant women feel. Because of this arguing with you partner due to pregnancy is more often, especially because women are very sensitive in this period.
So, men, you better learn all you can. The more you know about healthy pregnancy and the miraculous process of birth, the more comfortable you’ll be and you’ll better understand your partner.
Fear named as: “Will I be a good father?”
You will often find yourself asking: “Will I do everything right?” It is okay to be clueless, but you should know that any father can care for his child. If you don’t know how something works, don’t be afraid, you’ll learn it. You already have most of the skills you need to be a great father. You just need to learn ways to apply them with a child. There are many books available teaching basics principles of child care, so learn all you can.
Fear of not having enough money
Most of dads fear they won’t be able to properly provide for their family once the baby is there. They have concerns about buying all baby products such as baby stroller, baby bed, car seat etc. and of course about daily baby care. The common question of new dads is “Can I afford all of this”? Although babies bring with them a lot of costs, with some careful budgeting you can make the whole baby-expense thing work.
You need to make a baby budget. Having a written game plan can make you understand what you’ll really need for the baby. You will need to sacrifice a few things, like drinking bear with your friends three times a week, or dinner in expensive restaurant or new leather shoes, but when the sacrifice is made for the benefit of your child, it seems so easier than sacrificing for other things in life.
Fear that something will be wrong with the baby
It is normal to fear of the unknown. With regular checks during pregnancy, you fears can be reduced to minimum. But even though the medicine is so advanced, you’ll still find most parents secretly counting the newborn’s fingers and toes. You are not alone with this fear.
Relationship fears
This is a very real fear of being replaced. New dads often fear that their partner will love the baby more than anything in the world and exclude them from that relationship. It is true that dads can feel left out of the mom-baby bond, especially in the first weeks. This is natural, because the baby usually relies on the mother for security, warmth and comfort. You partner will love both of you, but being a mom of a new baby consumes much of her attention, her energy and her body. If you work together as a team to care for and raise the child, your love and feelings for one another will deepen even more than before.
My advice is to kick mom out of the house for few hours, and spend time alone with the baby. Dads, remember, you are also partners in raising the child.
Fear of growing up
Yes, yes, many dads ask themselves “Can I make move to the adulthood?”. Becoming a dad means putting the need of a child ahead of your own and loving someone more than you love yourself. Having a baby will force you to grow up. Life is going to change. You’ll have to drink less beer, play less video games…but remember, you are sacrificing for something larger than yourself. Actually, fatherhood and adulthood are much the same way.
