Imagine a chocolate cake. A perfect, dense, warm, gooey chocolate cake that's perfect in every way. Now imagine someone melted down a rubber tire and dripped the liquid over the cake like a glaze, totally ruining it.
That's exactly the same as 69. Or*l s*x on its own is perfect and great and nothing about it needs to change — and yet, there are folks in this world who look at that perfectly nice thing and think, This is great but what if everyone were doing it at the same time? Don't listen to them. Don't waste your time 69ing! In case you need further convincing, here are 14 reasons why you should never 69.
1. You were never all that great at multitasking, anyway. Yes, of course you're capable of doing more than one thing at a time, but that's what you have to do all day at your actual job. By the time you get home, you just want to kick back, relax, and get off without having to go down on someone else at the same time. How tiresome!
2. Your favorite show is on, and the DVR is full, and you can't wait until tomorrow for it to be on Hulu. You'll definitely miss an important detail in the Riverdale finale if you've got your head between somebody's thighs. The view of the TV from down there just isn't top-notch.
3. Too sleepy! You've had such a long day, all you have the energy for is lying back and relaxing, and really nothing else.
4. You were taught to take turns and are really dedicated to that. When you learned about waiting your turn, it was probably in relation to playing with a very cool toy as a kid. This is slightly different (although if you want to think of a penis as a toy, that's fine) but the rule still applies! One person playing at a time. Patience is a virtue.
5. You know neither of you will actually orgasm like this. This isn't your first 69-rodeo. Here's how you know this will go down: You'll both bend yourselves into weird body pretzels, position your heads in each other's junk, and then go to town for some undetermined amount of time until you finally give up when you realize nothing is ever going to come (heehee) of this. It's a lot of work for little to no payoff.
6. You neck is sore from staring at you computer at your job all day. Darn these neck cramps! You couldn't possibly crane your neck down in between someone's legs until you've had at least five professional massages.
Source http://www.cosmopolitan.com
All content on this Web site, including medical opinion and any other health-related information, is for informational purposes only and should not be considered to be a specific diagnosis or treatment plan for any individual situation. Use of this site and the information contained herein does not create a doctor-patient relationship. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.
